another day another dollar

all of a sudden, it seems like everything is just falling into place.

jobs! jobs, money, surviving, etc. so good. one week ago today, i was at the point of poverty in which i walked to the bank in the rain to deposit thirty-seven dollars and forty-five cents in change so that my electricity bill check would not bounce. SAD. and then i walked to the consignment store where i sold a good deal of my clothes for twenty dollars and eighty-one cents, so that i could go out and drink. MORE SAD.

things have improved. on wednesday, i was called to see if i wanted a shift at my McCatering job for saturday. yes, please. thursday, i went in for interview number two at a local Independent Coffee Shop (I.C.S.). wonderfully enough, the management is pretty easy-going. so easy-going, in fact, that the owner suggested we go down the street to a bar for my interview. we chatted for a few hours, drank some drangles*, got a little buzzy, laughed lots, and, BAM! i was hired. i love capitol hill.

the next day at my Actual Restaurant Job., i was asked to cover several shifts this coming week. not just any shifts. prime servings shifts. which equals mucho dinero in tips. no joke, if i work just two of these serving shifts, i've paid for a month's worth of rent. cha-ching!

so, extra shifts, new job, and tips galore. money problems temporarily gone. and then there's the boy problems. not exactly problems, just stress, drama, etc. after getting back from portland, suddenly things seemed different with this boy. more real, more genuine. maybe we both had time to evaluate things? i don't know, but things have been good. thursday night, i was sitting at home listening to music when he called. it was 1 in the morning, and he sounded a bit drunk. he asked me to come meet him at the rosebud, so i threw on a coat and met him. i found him slouched over a whisky and looking a lot like he did the first night we met. he was joking around with his co-workers, but i could tell he was upset about something. as we walked up and down the pike/pine corridor, he started beating up on himself unnecessarily. i grabbed his arm and demanded to know what was wrong. he sighed, leaned against the wall by the comet and looked down. "i had lunch with her today. she told me she was moving to sacramento to be with her boyfriend. i asked her if it was a bit soon to move in with someone she's only been dating two months..." he trailed off. "and then i realized what every single one of my friends knew. they've been dating a lot longer than two months."

shit. wow, ouch.

so the ex-girlfriend had been going behind his back when they were dating. and poor boy, he always tends to see only the good in people. i mean, he wanted to think of his ex as a decent person, keep on cordial terms with her and always had only good things to say about her. but now, as we walked back to my house, he grew bitter. "she's a horrible person," he mumbled. he suddenly stopped and apologized to me for 'over-sharing' as he called it. i grabbed his arm as he looked away from me and stared at him. "no," i said, "this is what it should be. sharing our thoughts, feelings. i feel like we barely know each other sometimes. but i want to know you."

(moment!)

and there it is. the moment, three in the morning, standing under the flickering street lamp in front of that empty parking lot on 11th, staring at each other, wrapped up in emotion and me telling him i cared about him and wanted to understand what was going on in his head and heart, and him almost in tears, hugging me, believing that i actually cared for him as much as i said i did. it was... i don't know. a step.

and then we went home, and just slept in each others arms, barely kissing, just hugging each other. ridiculously romantic. this isn't even me. i don't know what any of this is.

back to the real world. work work work. i went into work (A.R.J) on friday morning (dazed from the previous night's conversation) and barely left work until monday night. it was crazy from hour one. i made coffee, drinks, ran food, served bar stools and tables and hosted and at one point, arranged cheeses. i also drank wine, freaked out and screamed at co-workers during my intense four-day marathon of work. on sunday, i worked a double. i was there at 9am and ended up breaking the record for most amount of hours spent working/breaking/drinking at my work. my first shift was seven hours and the next was four. but in between shifts i drank and after my second shift i drank and when my co-worker susie got off work at 11, we both drank. suddenly it was 3am and about half a dozen front of house and kitchen people were boozing heavily in the closed restaurant, helping ourselves to paper cups full of stella artois from the tap. and i hadn't left the restaurant in 18 hours. i love working in the restaurant industry.

today i slept in, resting from the ridiculous amount of work i've done in the past weekend. yet tonight i host, and it is st. patty's day. get ready to bust out the alcohol to anyone who wishes they were irish. my goodness my guiness...

appendix!

* drangles: afternoon drinks! or lunch-time. or breakfast... basically anytime when you drink and feel guilty about the early hour that you have begun boozing.